We get it before making a speech, before performing in front of an audience at a school production, before diving off a cliff for the first time – everybody, at least once in their lives, experiences cold feet, for a variety of reasons. One could not possibly experience cold feet at a time worse than your own wedding. After all the planning, after all has been said and done, the doubts at the back of your head start to set in. Am I making the right choice? Is this what I want? Do I really want to be married into this family? Some people let these thoughts get to them and run off, leaving the bride or groom devastated at the altar, and the guests appalled.
So how does someone deal with cold feet? Better yet, how can we prevent it from even entering our minds? The answer is – you can’t necessarily prevent it from happening, but there are ways to overcome this sudden feeling of fright. To get cold feet, one must have a loss or lack of courage; an onset of uncertainty or fear. In order to tackle it, you need to explore the reasons behind these nagging doubts. You know yourself, your relationship, and your spouse-to-be, better than anyone else does. If you’re feeling uncertain or nervous about your upcoming wedding, you need to look into it. When we’re sick and find something unusual on our bodies, do we let it be and carry on doing what we’re doing? No. We see an expert for help, or at least a diagnosis. In this case, there’s no better expert other than yourself. You can’t ignore your doubts, especially on a day as important as your wedding. Here are ways to cope with cold feet:
1. Identify the reasons behind your doubts
For every lingering doubt, there’s a reason. Explore what you’re nervous about, and pay attention to it. Maybe you rushed into it after dating for just a few months, and feel like you don’t know your partner well enough to start the next chapter in your life. Maybe you aren’t financially stable enough to be spending this much to tie the knot. Dig into your thoughts and find the reasons you’re even questioning one of the most important days of your life.
2. Take the time to get it out of your system
Your thoughts are all over the place and you feel like everything is jumbled up. Sit down and grab a piece of paper. Write your reasons down. You can have a list of pros and cons about marrying your partner and compare the two. Find the time to gather your thoughts and organize them.
3. Talk it out
Your partner deserves to know why you’re thinking twice about getting married. Maybe he’s feeling the same way. You have to be honest with each other so you can give each other reassurance after all has been said. The conflict being your own thoughts may be resolved just by speaking to your partner.
Always remember – whatever doubts you may have, it’s probably best to take a step back and consider all the stress you’re under before making any rash decisions. After all, you probably wouldn’t be under all this stress had you not initially thought having your partner the rest of your life wouldn’t be worth at the end.